From Victim to Victory

  • Age: 46
  • Occupation: Photographer and Coach
  • Nationality: Israeli
  • Lives in: New Jersey
  • Family: Married and a mom to Twins

I must start by saying that I am beyond grateful to have the ability to write this post, as it’s the result of some powerful work done with the Synergy team.

So where do I start… over three years ago I went to a workshop in Manhattan that was recommended by a friend who I always looked up to and trusted.  It was a profound experience that came as a surprise. I didn’t expect to have so many insights take place over a single weekend.

Leaving the Basic workshop, I got really clear that I was looking at life from a victim’s prospective – everything was happening to “me”, everything was done to “me”.

I was a young mom of four-month-old twins after many years of infertility treatments, and I had created a lot of conversations in my head that were all ones of a victim. That was all amazing to me, but I also realized, at the same time, that I was not willing to continue life with those types of conversations in my mind. More than that, I got that I didn’t deserve to stay in that place, nor did my kids and family deserve that version of me. I got that I could get more responsible and more powerful and that I could create anything I really chose.

The first thing that came up for me was that I needed to get healthier. I needed to lose a lot of weight. Years of trying and failing created another victim-type conversation in my mind: “Everybody can lose weight but I can’t.” I created a fear of doctors and getting clear on why my weight wasn’t coming down became a challenge. Years of infertility treatments became the excuse. Yet, the result was a disempowered young mom that was walking a very unhealthy road not able to see the cost of her choices. I am not saying this out of self-judgment but from clarity that I really didn’t know better. This is why the Basic workshop and the rest of the Synergy Journey was, and still is, so powerful to me. I got to see my life, like a mirror in front of me, and get clear on my choices and, most importantly, the results they were producing in my life.

I am amazed to see that I actually chose this, as I was so committed to staying a victim because the payoff was so comfortable. I learned that I created a powerful comfort zone for myself, but that all my dreams were actually outside that comfort zone, and it was time to step out! And step up! As new and scary as I thought it was, it was clear that it was time.

I remember someone offering me that we all have commitments, ALL the time, and really the question was: to what? So WHAT was I committed to?

I guess I was really committed to staying comfortable.

I continued and did the whole Synergy curriculum and even joined their training program, as I was so inspired and fulfilled by this work. Seeing all of us transform our lives and become the best version of ourselves again and again is so, so powerful to me. As I was coaching the different programs, I got to experience this powerful work over and over. I got to see that I have shifted my internal conversations in many ways, but was still holding on to those victim thoughts around my health. I had the story down – I had a bad metabolism, and it was a result of years of infertility treatments, and what? One day it was clear I had to get courageous and, most of all, responsible.

I got to choose my life. I got to recreate it and have it with all my dreams – yes, those outside my comfort zone are actually now becoming a part of my reality.

Getting responsible for me meant accepting my metabolic issues and putting my fear of doctors and the procedure aside and having weight loss surgery. This was a big step, but it was the only way that was right for me.  I tried it all, but by letting go of how it should have been and by actually having it just work out, I got to choose me again.

Dania SanderI am now a year after surgery, four sizes smaller in my clothes, and over 55lbs closer to my goal weight. Mostly, though, I am able to go back and enjoy the biggest passion I left behind 30 years ago.

Letting go of being a victim of a bad metabolism, my thoughts, and wrong choices, I now get to play tennis again.

From Victim to VictoryI wanted it for years, but kept telling myself, “it can never happen.” Today I am training with both a personal trainer and with two Tennis Pros three times a week and working out six to seven times a week. I am the one teaching my toddlers that exercise is a part of our lives and we love it. They ask to go with me to the gym. When I train on the tennis court, they do the same on the kids courts, and we get to create a life that is beyond my wildest dreams.

Synergy helped me to see who I chose to be, taught me how choosing powerfully looks, what it means for me to keep my word on a daily basis, and truly knowing that if I choose anything that is meaningful to me and my family, I can do it, just ’cause I said so.

This is how it looks for me today as I move from victim to victory. I couldn’t be more grateful to the work we do at Synergy, because now after we all finish figuring ourselves out, we get to do the same with others. What a gift. I can’t wait to see what else I get to create now that I choose powerful conversations. The results are limitless.  Thank you Synergy!!!

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