As a person in long term recovery, I have come to find out not using drugs and alcohol is just a beginning. The bridge back to life for those of us with substance use disorder is often oppressed by our past history and its limitations, both real and supposed.
The truth became clearer to me, after I was given the opportunity during the Synergy workshops, to take a different look at that history and invite in the possibility, that who I am is valuable and worthy of the same freedom as anyone not affected by addiction.
While I may not have all the answers, I have the questions, which are as if not more important, as they provide the space to create a life that I only dreamed was possible.
I am a person who benefited greatly from rehabilitation and recovery programs, and yet after 6 years in recovery I found myself in another broken relationship, disappointed with my current position and feeling like I had no choice but to accept that my sobriety should be enough to keep me content. Unfortunately, most people, myself included, used because of discontent, and if left unchecked, this disconnect could lead to relapse. While extremely beneficial to not using, my recovery program had still kept some of my much needed truths locked behind doors I felt I didn’t have access to.
This is an unfortunate aspect of addiction, and if left “in the hall” for too long we end up going back to what we know, which is using. So while I wasn’t desperate when I entered the Synergy workshops, I was tired of hitting roadblocks and trying to use the same techniques to get past these blocks without much success. My life was by no means a bad or miserable one, but that feeling like something was missing lingered and my ability to address that seemed out of reach.
I must say, a few months after taking part in the Synergy workshops, that feeling has all but dissipated. New opportunities have come because I was given the tools to show up for my life in a way I previously hadn’t. While I may not have all the answers, I have the questions, which are as if not more important, as they provide the space to create a life that I only dreamed was possible. The questions keep me from accepting an inauthentic interpretation of who I am, and keep me and the people in my life responsive to each other in a way that is not only conducive to a healthy recovery, but to a life of fulfillment previously thought to be beyond possibility.